Yesterday a co-worker came in with a Cinderella balloon and some beautiful lillies for me.  They told me that it was national secretary day.  It made me really happy because this job has been bumming me out for a while, and it was nice to know that they notice the dumb little things that they are making me do.

It was a nice surprise.

I have some pictures, but Word Press still isn’t letting me upload anything, so I’ll post them with the others that I’ve promised.

Wow, I sure am getting close to having a real, official anniversary with Chase.  I say official because I want to distinguish between the couples that have an anniversary every other day for dumb things like, “7 months from our first kiss”, or “1 year since he said he loved me” and me.  I’m not into those lame ones because if you wanted you could make an anniversary for everyday….”8 months, 4 day and 2 hours since he first tickled me” blah blah blah and blah.

But this is a for real one!  We will be celebrating our one year of marriage by going to Park City for the weekend.  I’m looking forward to filling that weekend up with a bunch of shopping, sunshine, good eats and just enjoying my husband.

As we get closer to the year mark, I find myself looking back and realizing all of the important things that I’ve learned about marriage, myself and Chase this past year.  It seems like we have never really left the “honeymoon stage” because sometimes we are disgustingly mushy to each other, but at the same time we have really found our places in this relationship and have started to play our parts with more maturity and with a better perspective on our future.  I’m not sure what would be on Chase’s list of things he has learned this past year, but I want to share some of mine….

-when we first got married, I assumed that every extra second that we had needed to be spent together.  I know that it is common advice to be told, “when you get married, spend time apart doing your own things”, but for some reason I didn’t listen.   I realized that Chase and I can spend all day together, doing absolutely nothing and find a way to laugh and fill it with adventure.  Some of my favorite times have been days when from morning until night Chase is the only human being I come in contact with that day.  But now I realize that even though we don’t get sick of being together all the time, being apart makes the reunion sweeter.  I think it’s a great thing when Chase goes to a concert with his buddies, goes biking with his team, etc…and I think it’s even greater that I don’t get dragged along to these events.  It gives me time to focus on me and enjoy myself with a bubble bath, a day trip to Logan to see my family and friends, spend an extra hour or two exercizing, etc.  It is so great to see Chase after I’ve had “lindsey time” because I feel rejuvenated, relaxed and happy…which is reflected in our relationship.

-There are things that don’t need to be said.  I’m so guilty of wanting to tell Chase every little tiny detail of every little thing that happened to me that day.  And the past couple of days, I’ve really begun to notice how this is affecting him and me.  I mean, I don’t need to tell Chase how many calories I’ve eaten that day!  He doesn’t care!  I don’t need to tell him about each specific crap-job that I was given to do at the office that day.  I don’t need to bug him with the latest gossip that I’ve heard about my friend in Logan that he doesn’t even know!  I must need more girlfriends or something if I’m telling all of this to him.  Sheesh.  So I’ve decided that there are just some things that I don’t ever need to voice.  Yes, I might be proud of losing 3 pounds or I might be really bugged that I haven’t had a stimulating job handed to me for a few days, but I can keep these things inside so that they don’t worry Chase or make him think I’m a nutcase.

-I’ve learned to really talk and compromise about the things that are important to me.  When we were dating and during the first part of our marriage, I tried my hardest to just let things slide and not make anything into a big deal.  This was supplemented by my shyness of talking about problems, and so if I ever had a problem with something that was going on, I just shoved it deep into my mind and got over it.  I was and still am terrified of confrontation, and I just hate causing drama.  Especially with my spouse.  But I’ve learned that unless I start communicating these little things, they would eventually build and build and then I would have an explosion of emotion and look like an idiot.  I can only think of one example of when this has happened to me, but ever since then I have realized how important it is to voice my opinion on things that matter.

-Being a good housewife is fulfilling.  I’ve never doubted that I would love home-making.  But I’ve had a lot of friends who are very feminist in their view on what a wife should do in the home, and I can’t figure out why they don’t love taking care of their man.  I know I don’t really have a large family, but with Chase and Baxter there is usually a lot of things I still have to take care of.  It makes me feel really proud of myself when Chase tells me how capable he thinks I am and how much he loves not having to focus on anything other than work and providing for our family.  When he says these things it only makes me want to do more for him.  My workload is pretty full right now…with a full-time job, a puppy that is still learning to be house-trained, doing the laundry weekly, making sure that the house is cleaned once a week, keeping the sink an dishes clean, making dinner every night, trying to get an hour of exersize a night, paying the bills and making sure our finances our updated, getting our food storage together, planning summer vacations, taking care of bday & wedding gifts, etc….my days can sometimes just fly by with all of the things I need to make sure are taken care of.  It gets exhausting, but it’s well worth it to see how happy it makes Chase that I am willing to take care of our home and social responsibilities.

-Hobbies, interests and passions are important.  I don’t have nearly enough of these.  Frankly I don’t have enough time for these.  But I am trying to get more into the things that I enjoy:  cooking/baking, exersize and scrapbooking.  It’s hard though, when I really only have an hour or so a night to do anything for myself.  Hopefully when I have children and am no longer tied up from 8-5, I will be able to find some more time to devote to my mental well-being and happiness.   I think I would much like to start doing a daily yoga class, or maybe a painting class.  I dunno….

-Goals are VERY important.  I’m only 20, but Chase has set up this outline for our future, and if it all works out, I will own two homes by the time I’m 22.  I’m lucky to be married to such a realistic and motivated man who is very much looking out for our future.  He is so young to be so successful, and I think it is because of the way he sets realistic goals and then sets up the plan to achieve them.  Oh how thankful I am for him.

Anyway, I could go on and on about what one year of marriage has taught me.  And one year is nothing, so I am looking forward to all of the life lessons I am taught with the next passing years.   Marriage is the best!

For some reason Word Press won’t let me upload any images, and boy do I have plenty!  So hopefully it will figure out it’s kinks soon and I will put up the cutest pictures of Baxter finding his Easter eggs and Ann at her bridal shower!  Crossing my fingers that it gets fixed soon.

It’s been so nice to just stay at home the past couple of weekends.  It seems like we have been travelling and going non-stop so conference and easter were welcome breaks.  My family went to St. George and we were going to join them until I heard that it was supposed to rain all weekend down there.  Who wants to drive that far just to have it rain?!  Not me!  So we stayed at home and relaxed.  Friday night Chase got off work later so we grabbed some Chilis and then went indoor mini-golfing which was fun.  Except how terrible I am.

Saturday we went to Salt Lake and met a few of his mission friends to “Yum Cha”  (I’m spelling that exactly as it sounds–I’m not chinese expert.)  Not gonna lie…it was pretty gross.  The Asians just bring a cart of food around and tables take off what they want from the cart.  Hmmm….but I did try a couple things in my defense.  After we shopped at Gateway and indulged ourselves in some new hats and new jeans.  Then we hit up the Mount Timp Temple for a quick session (who woulda thought Easter would only have like 15 people in a session!) and then went out with some friends.  Crhis and Nicole came over and we grabbed some grub at The Paradise Cafe.  Poor Chris only took like one bite of his sandwich, and, since its not macaroni or a hot pocket, he couldn’t finish it    We dyed eggs and watched the office.  It was a quiet night with the friends.

Sunday we woke up, had Easter baskets (pictures shown below), and went to church.  For my Easter Brunch I made my very first Omelet ever for Chase & I.  I used gourmet stuff like ham and onions and bacon too.  It was a success!  Then we went to the Brammers for an even more successful Easter dinner with the family and some fun Easter egg trickery for the neices and nephews.

Overall, the weekend was awesome.

This past weekend was my friend Ann’s Bridal Shower up in Logan.  I have been part of the planning for a while and it was fun to see it all come together.  As I’ve mentioned before, I am seriously obsessed with the Food Network and absolutely love the cakes that are made, so I decided to find a cake decorator in Salt Lake and have a lingerie cake made for Ann.  It was in her wedding colors and it turned out really really well.  I couldn’t have dreamed for it to be better.  We had Banana Fosters, cake, opened gifts and played some pretty fun games.  It was fun to see her so excited for her wedding!  I am so happy that all of my friends are finding their sweethearts!  Anyway, I then came back to Pleasant Grove and attended a couple’s shower for Sean and Sarah, one of Chase’s mission buddies.  It was interesting to see the dynamic of a couple’s shower….I’ve only been to bridal ones.  But it was very fun and pretty awesome to get to go to the shower with Chase instead of leaving him behind like I have been lately.

Also, on Sunday we got a text from Brady White telling us that he was engaged!  So now there will be even more wedding festivities to attend this summer!  We are so excited for them!

But all in all, it was a fantastic weekend!

I AM OBSESSED.  That is all I will say.

I don’t know why, but I can’t get enough of it.  I could sit and watch Food Network all day every day (except for Good Eats with Alton Brown, ug).  I have been trying all these new recipes for Chase (which I’m sure he’s glad for) and it’s turning into something of a hobby and passion…if anyone can believe that I have either of those.

Well I am also really into a couple of foodblogs…mykitchencafe.com and thedishondelish.com and pretty much any blog that they have on their blogroll as well.  I have probably copied and pasted about 500 new recipes from these blogs and am excited to start trying them out as well!

So….here’s what I want.  For all of you to comment with 1 or more of your families favorite recipes so I can try them out and add them to the collection!  I’m so serious!  And maybe someday, when I am really rich and can afford a bakery or cafe of my own and I become famous because of all the amazing recipes you are about to give me, you will see me on Food Network as well.

(A girl can dream, right?)

My brain has been working overload the last 24 hours just thinking and analyzing and thinking and wondering and questioning and all sorts of things….and the only way to make sense of all this jumbled up thought is to lay it out there for the world…

So here are some of the things that I’ve been pondering:

1.  Why is it that the song, “Mony Mony” gets me pumped and excited and ready to workout?  I think it was some form of brainwashing by my high school drill team coaches because they made us do high kicks to that whole song….but anytime I hear it I triple my energy level.  Maybe this is something I can use to my advantage for running?  But, I couldn’t listen to that song over and over again, even if it does boost my performance.  Does anyone have music that gets them amped?  If you do, let me know because I need some suggestions.  My Nelly Furtado and Fergie just aren’t making my runs enjoyable and extreme…

2.  Why is it that a certain co-worker always has to be talking and saying dumb things?  Is it because he honestly wants to know if I can change the world today?  Does he really care about how my dog is doing?  Did he seriously just give me the nickname “Ms. Galaxy”?  Am I really listening to a story about how his old high school buddy went to jail and was raped?  Is he really telling me all of this while he can clearly see that I’m in the middle of reading?  Does he have any idea how annoying he is?  I have a theory about him and why he can’t shut up:  he has ADD.  No offense to anyone with this disorder, but seriously this guy needs to just focus on his job and leave me alone.  I’m seriously on the edge of asking  if my desk can be moved so that I’m out of the way when this guy decides to spend 45 minutes talking about his day.

3.  Why am I always so ornery after?  I thought it was called pre menstrual cycle.  Hmm, maybe my body is screwed up.

4.  Is there some other type of thing that can give a girl morning sickness other than being pregnant?  Every morning I wake up and want to puke my guts out….but it never happens.  Instead of instant relief from the stomach burning, I am faced with about an hour each morning of constant awareness of how sensitive my stomach is.  Mostly it hits me the worst when I am on my way to work and I have to pull to the side of the freeway and just breath deeply and hope it passes.  And hope that I don’t throw up in my car, because I would hate to clean that up…Yuck.  I am a constant health hazard.

5.  What is with MTV thinking that I want to watch a dumb documentary about “the first gay man with HIV to openly talk about it on TV” while I make dinner?  And for that matter, what is with the Food Network guy Alton Brown and his stupid show, Good Eats?  I can’t stand that guy’s voice or his lame immature show.  Grow up Alton.  Your show needs to be replaced with more “Iron Chefs”.

6.  Why is it impossible to cry without makine a huge sniff noise?  I can let silent tears fall for a few minutes, but after that all the air that needs to escape does and I am left with a huge whine/gasp/cry/moan as I inhale to let more silent tears fall down.  This was never a problem before I got married because I didn’t care if I cried noisily.  But now it’s important to secretly fall apart otherwise I end up getting the 20 questions from the hubby and having him worried is the last thing I want.  Especially when the breakdown is so unexplainable.

7.  I miss my family.  I miss the way I would come home from school and spend an hour watching Oprah with my mom before all the kids came home; and how we would get so into talking about how to make our bras fit better, or what kinds of food is a butt-bulger.  She’s my best friend.

8.  I miss my dad and how steady and strong and there he always was for me (and still is); I love the bond I have with him and how I feel special and important and mature whenever he is around me. I miss his loud laugh and how he re-winds commercials that he thinks are hysterical and watches them over and over and over.  I love that I have his sense of humor.

9.  I miss my sister Tay and the best friend that I have found in her and how we totally get each other and can laugh our heads off; I miss our humor and how no matter what I say, she always laughs and honestly thinks what I said was funny.  She’s the best.  I miss my Jake because of his willingness to always be on my team and be my buddy.  I feel like I haven’t been the sister I should be to him.  I love you Jakey.  I miss Luke and how much of a genius he is.  Luke can seriously burn anyone and it’s so awesome to see what a personality and maturity he is developing.  I miss my littlest bud Ike because no one else ever wants to cuddle up under and blanket and let me hold him while we watch disney shows.  And no one is as much of a sweetheart and sensitive as he is.  I just miss my whole family.  It’s getting harder and harder to be away from them especially when I thought I’d only be gone from Logan for 3 years.

10.  I feel inadequate in everything I do.  I’m not a socail butterfly–in fact, I’m actually extremely socially awkward.  I don’t have any real hobbies down here yet because I don’t have the time or the money.  The only thing I do to enjoy myself is exersize.  I am not the best at visiting teaching or desiring to go to church every sunday.  I am not the most fun person to be around.  I am not adventurous, outgoing, intelligent or anything that is worthwhile.  I am not a very good housekeeper or homemaker-most of anything I cook burns or doesn’t turn out.  I am not good at controlling my temper when it comes to Baxter messing up and Chase worries about that.  I am just a mediocre person.  It’s so overwhelming knowing that I need to perfect all these things.

11.  Food Storage.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  Love/hate?  I love it because it makes me feel like I’m at least doing something important for my future family, but I hate it because progress is so small and so hard to measure.  I feel like I’ve been working on this the whole year we’ve been married and I have nothing to show for it.  I have looked a bunch of different resources to get tips and to learn more about the ‘necessities’, but I can’t seem to get my crap together.  Oh well, I have a few years before kids come so hopefully I’ll be able to figure it out by then right?! 

12.  Instead of “Administrative Assistant” they should advertise this job as “Every one in the office’s biotch”.  If they would’ve done that for me, I could’ve saved myself a job interview and 1 year’s worth of hell in this place.

13.  As I’m typing this, my dumb coworker just asked, “Lindsey.  How’s it going on your quest to change the world?”  UUUUUGGGGG please don’t talk to me dude!

14.  Isn’t it some type of social rule that you shouldn’t divulge to much information of your personal life to strangers.  Well for some reason my boss think we aren’t strangers and tells me about how she hates her husband and wants to leave him and how she is getting a bankruptcy and how her kids are spawns of Satan.  It makes it impossibly awkward for me to be here at work.  Can someone please let her know that you keep these things to yourself?

15.  Wow, how much have I just complained?  For reals.  I’m stopping even though I have like 50 more bullets I could type.  I apologize if I’ve made your day horribly sad or depressed by this post.  But I’m allowed to vent every once in a while right?

Ok Ok I know that I make fun of all the notes that people do on Facebook and jazz, but I am super bored tonight (Chase had to stay late to work) and I am willing to do anything to postpone the nightly run.  So I’m posting this couple Q&A I was tagged in and hope that at least one person out there will find something entertaining in this…
♥ What are your middle names?
Chase=Hansen Me=Nicole

♥ How long have you been together?
2 years of dating, 1 year of marriage

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Hm, oh wait, our first date was the night we met.

♥ Who asked who out?
Chase asked me out….come on, I’m the most old-fashioned person ever.  BUT I did kiss him first.  It was a bad move looking back, but oh well.

♥ How old are each of you?
He’s 24 I’m 20

♥ Whose siblings do/ did you see the most?
His.  We go to his house every sunday night for dinner.  Mine are 2 hours away

♥ Do you have any children together?
No, but we are expecting.          JK it’s april fools, had to throw that in.

♥ What about pets?
Baxter, the world’s most skitzophrenic puppy that ever lived.

♥ Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Hm, I would have to say that we have had some serious issues over who is a better driver.    But nothing bigger than that.

♥ Did you go to the same school?
BYU

♥ Are you from the same home town?
Ya right.  Howdy neighbors could you ever see Chase livin in Cache Valley…I think not.  He’s very anti farms.

♥ Who is smarter?
Chase definitely

♥ Who is more sensitive?
Me.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Ya we are tried and true Little Ceasar fans.  Every monday night is Hot-n-ready night at the Brammers.

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Hawaii.  Soon we will make that China though….soon…..

♥ Who has the craziest exes?
Bahaha that is Chase.  He’s had TWO, not one, but TWO exes call him and tell him they still love him and want to be with him after they were married to other people.  Psychos….

♥ Who has the worse temper?
Me when it comes to the dog.  Chase when it comes to everything else.

♥ Who does the cooking?
Moi.

♥ Who is more social?
…Chase

♥ Who is the neat-freak?
Certainly Me. I probably drive Chase nuts.

♥ Who is more stubborn?
Chase

♥ Who hogs the bed?
Chase stills the covers.  He rolls up in them and rolls away from me, so I get left with nothing.  But I get pay back by turning sideways in the bed and sleeping with my feet all over him.  Muhahaha

♥ Who wakes up earlier?
Has anyone ever seriously tried to get Chase out of bed before 9?  If someone has succeeded at this, let me know your tactics.  I can’t seem to find a good strategy

♥ Where was your first date?
Orem Summerfest with all his friends.  He made me ride the gravitron.  Twice.  Ugggh

♥ Who has the bigger family?
Me.

♥ Do you get flowers often?                                                                                                                           Every once in a while

♥ How do you spend the holidays?
With family.

♥ How long did it take to get serious?
A couple weeks.  Most people know the story…if you want to know, just ask.  I never turn down a chance to make Chase feel like an idiot.

♥ Who eats more?
Me, Chase totally forgets to eat because his mind just doesn’t care about food.  Umm, can I be like that please?

♥ Who does/ did the laundry?
Me

♥ Who’s better with the computer?
Chase is a computer genius.

♥ Who drives when you are together?
Depends.  If I’m feeling especially risky with my life then Chase.